Thursday, January 8, 2009

Status

For almost the past 48 hours, I have been contemplating my new status.  Laid off.  Laid.  Off.  As in unemployed for the first time in six years.  Not working.  Laid off.  It's a bit mind boggling and I even feel unsteady on my own two feet.  Laid off.  Huh.  It's quite a shock to the ol' mind set but I'm starting to smile a little and even got a few laughs in this morning courtesy of Steve-O.  It is so easy to let the mind wander, the woulda coulda shoulda's.  But in the end it really doesn't matter why.  It just is.  I am no longer employed.  I think I will soon be able to jump up and down with excitement and celebrate.  But I am just going with the flow.  Dropping my kids off, picking them up.  Planning and cooking dinners.  Sleeping in (assuming I'll start sleeping again soon).  And, of course, getting in my workouts.  Which are no longer rushed, another strange feeling.  Time is no longer a limiting factor.  

I am doing my best to not look in the rear view mirror but am focusing instead on the future. It's only been 48 hours so I will allow myself the occasional panic moment but not for very much longer.  Michael has been hugely supportive and I think he is excited for what this may mean for our relationship and our family.  As anyone who is part of a 2 working spouse family knows, it is an incredibly difficult lifestyle to lead.  We have even had conversations over the last month about me phasing to a part-time position.  All this does is speed up the timetable.  My choice to be unemployed?  No.  Something I wanted?  To be honest, yes.  Do I wish it happened on my terms?  Of course.  But it didn't and I am getting OK with that.  

So the question I now get to address is:  What do I want to be when I grow up?  For this next phase of my life? Everyone always talks about pursuing what you love in life and everything will fall into place.  What do I love?  That's easy:  training, mentoring, and racing.   So if you need a training buddy, give me a call (PIC that means you).  If you are looking for a mentor/coach, drop me an email. Race season is almost here:)  

I'm trading in my high heels for running shoes.  My work wardrobe will now consist of training gear.  This could be fun.  

Here's to my re-focus on my existing status:  
Wife
Mom
Athlete
Coach

Oh the possibilities.  



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