Thursday, January 8, 2009

Status

For almost the past 48 hours, I have been contemplating my new status.  Laid off.  Laid.  Off.  As in unemployed for the first time in six years.  Not working.  Laid off.  It's a bit mind boggling and I even feel unsteady on my own two feet.  Laid off.  Huh.  It's quite a shock to the ol' mind set but I'm starting to smile a little and even got a few laughs in this morning courtesy of Steve-O.  It is so easy to let the mind wander, the woulda coulda shoulda's.  But in the end it really doesn't matter why.  It just is.  I am no longer employed.  I think I will soon be able to jump up and down with excitement and celebrate.  But I am just going with the flow.  Dropping my kids off, picking them up.  Planning and cooking dinners.  Sleeping in (assuming I'll start sleeping again soon).  And, of course, getting in my workouts.  Which are no longer rushed, another strange feeling.  Time is no longer a limiting factor.  

I am doing my best to not look in the rear view mirror but am focusing instead on the future. It's only been 48 hours so I will allow myself the occasional panic moment but not for very much longer.  Michael has been hugely supportive and I think he is excited for what this may mean for our relationship and our family.  As anyone who is part of a 2 working spouse family knows, it is an incredibly difficult lifestyle to lead.  We have even had conversations over the last month about me phasing to a part-time position.  All this does is speed up the timetable.  My choice to be unemployed?  No.  Something I wanted?  To be honest, yes.  Do I wish it happened on my terms?  Of course.  But it didn't and I am getting OK with that.  

So the question I now get to address is:  What do I want to be when I grow up?  For this next phase of my life? Everyone always talks about pursuing what you love in life and everything will fall into place.  What do I love?  That's easy:  training, mentoring, and racing.   So if you need a training buddy, give me a call (PIC that means you).  If you are looking for a mentor/coach, drop me an email. Race season is almost here:)  

I'm trading in my high heels for running shoes.  My work wardrobe will now consist of training gear.  This could be fun.  

Here's to my re-focus on my existing status:  
Wife
Mom
Athlete
Coach

Oh the possibilities.  



4 comments:

goSonja said...

As usual, you are so stinking classy. Your level head and honesty with yourself will get you through this and onto the next phase, whatever that may be.

I am always here and will be giving you a call...like right now...

xoxoxo PIC

Noell Blevins said...

I like your outlook!! No need to rush to your decision... Hey look at it this way.... no need to rush out of the pool in the morning... oh ya... see, there is always a bright side! Maybe you can teach me how to get the hell out of my lane (bring Sonja of course!!).. Congrats ( I think!?!) ....

Christy said...

More than impressed with the way your handling it. With your drive, the next thing will be awesome for sure!

Beth Tennant said...

Hey, needless to say I was shocked at your news! I believe that everything happens for a reason and you are clearly already focusing on all the great things that can come from this change. Remember; change the way you look at things and the things you look at change. :) You are a freakin rock star at everything you do and the next chapter will be equally exciting and successful!
Wish i had more time to train with you now!
Relax and have a bon bon for me!
BT